Friggers Forum


My letter to NBC over Conan/Leno.

I am as some may notice a Conan O’Brien fan, I have been since i was in high school, and after sifting through the whole mess at hand, i decided to write to the executives at NBC. Regardless if you agree with my feelings on this or not, i recommend you do the same if you care about whats going on here.  It was some good fun, here it is.

I do not normally do this, but after reading Conan Brien’s “letter to earth”,  I feel it is necessary to respond to those at the head of the table here. Conan is to put it simply, a gem in a bag full of fecal matter.  There is a reason that he has sat behind that desk, and in front of those camera’s for over 16 years, and your problems stem from modern society evolving, along with some very foolish decisions on your networks part.  This is not  from one of the best late night host in the history of late night host taking over the tonight show.  From what i dug up, this is all because you were greedy pigs, and did not want Leno to go to a rival network, and steal any ratings.  So what you did was put leno on at 10 p.m. and moved the local news to 11 p.m.????  I could of told you what was going to happen, people continued to watch the news at 10 p.m. on other networks, and had little reason to watch it again at 11 p.m. even if they do prefer your news program.  I do not watch the news regularly, but i know millions of people do, and those millions of people have had a routine ever since they could remember, they watch the news at 10 p.m. and then fall asleep, because they woke up early and worked hard that day. Now this I believe is a major contributor to your ratings, whether you want to believe it or not. People fall asleep during or shortly after the 10 p.m. news, therefore leaving the television on during  late night programing.  Putting your news on an hour after everyone else, in a time that people are working very hard, for very little, and have less time for viewing t.v. is like trying to serve people a double cheeseburger for dessert,  they have already eaten, dick.  So now you want to return the news to 10 p.m. (excellent idea by the way) but you want to keep Leno’s hour show,  and at the expense of your viewers, and O’Brien’s feelings.  If Leno is that important to you, then put him on a different time slot, one that is, well….. open?  If you need him so badly, and could just not live with his audience going elsewhere, put him on at 9 p.m., hell put him on at 9 a.m. but  get your act together, and quit screwing around.  Sometimes you have to just let people go,  you have to move forward,  and keep on keeping on, and not clutch to a corpse that just rots more by the day.  Conan has earned his place, Leno earned his place, and then stepped down, but is now shoveing the people in front of him in a rage of selfishness.  Reading Conan’s letter really impressed me, and after watching him for so many years, and thinking i had a slight idea of what he was really like, he has proven to be a bigger man than i could of ever imagined.  Show business is a bitch,  but this guy is a true example of self respect, in a world full of thieves and liers.  So what happens now?  Conan does not find himself wandering the streets looking for a job,  Conan could have done a lot of other things, he had a goal at hand that even andy richter couldnt see out fully through.  He left to go do 27 movies and over 30 different television shows, What??!!  Do you know what Conan would of done in that time??  But he stayed loyal, and kept his part of the deal, HE KEPT HIS PART OF THE DEAL!!!  You did not, you twisted around the whole programing schedule, and then said “whoa, people dont like it, lets fuck it up some more!!!”  I apologize for my foul language, but it is the best way to most accurately express my feelings torwards this whole mess. If you want to make things right, just let leno go, put things back the way they were, and admit you guys got a little silly there for a minute.  By the way, SNL is terrible these days too, and from what i hear Charlie Murphy is interested in being in the cast. He was a huge contributor to the Chappelle show, and you see how well that show did, or maybe you did not, and that’s part of the reason why SNL is doing as well as it is.  In closing, great job in fucking everything up, count one less viewer here.

Sincerely,
the frigs.


How do you forget that you drove, when it’s winter??

Here’s an interesting situation, that happened on a seemingly normal Thursday night. My friend, we’ll call him “Jake”, has been working a lot lately and i have not seen him in about a week.  So he had off and wanted to drink some beers, I said “OK lets do it” , and so we did just that with a few other friends of ours.  Things were going just swell, and it got to be about 30 minutes before the store closed, and we realized that more beer was in order. Jake decided he would go get more beer, the store is about a 10 minute walk away from my house, but its January in western new york, and is what i consider depressingly cold outside.  So naturally he drove down there, he went in, purchased an 18 pack of bottles, walked out of the store, walked right by his car, and carried the fairly large case of beer all the way to my house through a foot and a half of snow, and 20 degree weather.  At no time realizing that he didn’t have to carry it to my house because he drove down there.  Well we did not know for about 45 minutes, until someone went out into the driveway to meet someone, and noticed that the car wasn’t there. My girlfriends brother asked Jake if he left the car at the store, and he responded “no!”,  but said it as if there was no way he could of done something like that. So when they asked him where it was, he said “fuck, i must of left it at the store.”  This i found to be beyond funny, i just couldnt figure out how it had happened with the level of shitty it was outside,  this was no warm summer night, and he carried a case of beer up a huge hill that my house sits atop.  How do you walk right by your car, and carry on as if all is fine??  The situation alone is enough to seriously question my friends state of well being, but  in a tale of amazing occurrences, the guy fucking did it again an hour later.  He decided to go to the pizzeria for some food, drove down there, parked directly in front of the door, bought his food, walked out the door, passed his car, and then carried his food all the way to my house. The first thing they asked him when he came in was if he forgot the car again, i walked by them, and laughed thinking there was no way it happened again, until someone rushed over to me to tell me that he did in fact do it again. They decided to go get the car this time, while i giggled and tried to pry Jake’s mind a little bit to find out what the hell was going on here, but he said very little, as he shoved food into his mouth. When they got back with the car they informed me that he had parked directly in front of the door to the place,  and he had to see it as he walked right by it. At that point I scanned the place quickly, but found Jake nowhere to be found. I talked to him last night when he was here and apparently he decided to eat some pills that i like to call “mind erasers”, which more than explains his actions, I’ve seen it before, when you mix those things with alcohol, you can drink like a fish on them, and not realize how fucked up you actually are. Of course you’ll never really know either, because unless someone tells you about your behavior, it is forever lost.  So in closing,  thank you Jake for an unbelievable laugh, i really needed that one.


Just a little taco thing, or is it thang??

Ho Ho Hope you like to get high,  Whether its just a little stoned,  or ripped, trying to plan an escape in the event of a complete nuclear fallout,  the weed is relief.  No work today,  its a fucking Wednesday,  probably about 15 degree’s with a foot of snow outside,  and i am quite the high lounger at the moment.  Lets talk about taco’s though,  and who would savagely destroy my ability to prepare my most sought out meal at the moment.  I just dont get it,  here’s the thing,  I had a taco kit that has seasoning for a lb. of ground beef,  a pack of taco sauce,  and 12 taco shells,  1 lb. of beef required, and whatever else you enjoy topping off your taco’s with. Well it turns out that inside the box contained only 10 taco shells in an opened wrapper,  nothing else.  So where does one go from here??  How do you figure out what happened here.  What the fuck was done with taco seasoning, a small packet of taco sauce, and 2 shells??   I was on roughly my 4th beer,  a little high,  and quickly scanned through several possible reasons for this,  only to end up completely confused,  enraged,  sad,  and stuck,  all at the same time.  It was far too many emotions to process at that given moment.  Did someone sabotage my future attempt to eat taco’s in an act of hatred?  Was there drunk,  giggleing friends of mine all fucked up in the kitchen, and they decided to eat taco’s without any meat??   like what the fuck?  Neither scenario seems logical,  and I end up laughing,  but at the same time I still want my taco’s.  The meat was already cooking when it was discovered so we had to go with hamburger helper instead,  although delicious,  not the meal i had anticipated.  And what the fuck is the lesson here??  Don’t leave your taco kit sitting in the cabinet if you actually want taco’s?  Always have hamburger helper around?  What the hell do i learn from this one?  It’s just silliness,  but ultimately the main focus of my day.  Had i worked today,  I most certainly would have informed my co-workers of my terrible taco misfortunes the night before, and they too would have had suggestion’s of  possible reason’s behind my taco tragedy.  The terrible taco tragedy of 2009,  I will always think back to it when preparing taco’s, might just always hide the taco kit from now on too, and of all things,  I have to hide the fucking taco kit??  Fuck you guys, whoever it was,  I hope you fucking choke, dick. Happy new year!!!!!!


Christmas Ballz.

Well, it is Christmas, i had consumed a large amount of beer and aftershock last night, went to bed at around 4 or 5 i suppose, and was awoken by shrieking madness. some sort of misunderstanding as to whether or not i should be so comfortably sleeping at 9 fucking 30 in the morning.  So hear i sit, stoned, drunk,  extremely tired, sore from work, and a beer pong tournament i am hosting in a few short hours.  i had received perhaps my favorite gift in quite some time today, which Jim Norton’s book  “I Hate Your Guts”. I bought his first book “Happy Ending’s”, and had enjoyed it a lot, although I expected something a little more raw, being familiar with his material, i sort of expect it, but this book seems to be a little bit more of what i was looking for in the first one. regardless it should be an enjoyable read, much like “Too Fat to Fish” by Artie Lang.  you very rarely go wrong reading a comedians publishing’s,  or anything by the good doctor Hunter S. Thompson. i need to get better prepared for beer pong, which means i need to get more drunk. if i play sober, its over, for whatever reason, i throw my best balls when i am drunk, and not buzzed had 6 beers drunk, i mean fucked up no longer makes reasonable sense drunk. usually losing a game is just the thing to get me going, having to drink beers at a rate of 7 per hour gives me that little extra boost, and although i see the cups with very limited visibility, that is the condition in which i will nail cup after cup. when i first found out about beer pong, i absolutely loved it, thought it was the greatest game, i would play by myself when i got home from my second shift suck job. i would fill up all six cups with 2 beers, throw the ball into the cups and drink them as i made my shots. i would drink all of my cup before i shot, and would use little slashes on some paper to record shots taken and balls made. mainly because i would get so shit faced i couldn’t remember if i was actually playing good or not. every once in a while i would only use 1 beer because of the rate i was consuming it, and drinking at a high pace when there is nobody around, and absolutely no cause for celebration, is really something else, and strange, but every time i did it, i kind of felt as if i was cheating, so whether i was done playing or not, i would play another game using two beers. And the philosophy behind this was that you have to play the game while quickly consuming beer, so staying sober is nowhere and option here.  so if you are going to practice, you very well can not do that by filling the cups full of water, it is a completely different game sober, so if i drank twice as much beer as when you actually play, then i would be much better when game times comes, because i would be use to throwing under the condition of completely inebriated. well it turns out, i got good at playing thrashed, and i still suck when im not that drunk.  People hear about beer pong on Christmas, and they get excited. everyone does the whole family thing from morning until dinner, and by the time dinner is over, your ready to go get fucked up, and no exceptions here.  There was a very good turn out for the  Christmas beer pong tourney, and I was amazed to wake up with a clean house, and nothing destroyed, although i have not yet been out to the shed, where the beer pong table is. I would say the night went as planned, not one Christmas fight, although somebody did spill beer into my pipe.  I never got a straight answer out of those fuckers either. After stumbling into the living room to retrieve it, i plugged the carb and blew through the mouth piece, only to have liquid spray all over me. I gave them the business, and they blamed it on freddy, instead of just telling me the dog did it.  In any event, all is well, so seasons greetings, next up New Years.