Friggers Forum


pit bull puppies, sweet little gremlins.

stoned.  good, i have 5 1/2 week old pit bulls going absolutely crazy.  it would seem the single most important thing to them is having fun, and fun they have.  They are little shit heads that lunge on your feet and dig their tiny little teeth into them.  They are also very accomplished escape artist, i said to my girlfriend last week “ah, the puppies got out!” and she replied “you mean the escapee’s?”.  they are however the cutest fucking things I have ever seen,  its ridiculous how adorable they are, even when they are acting like lunatics, they are cute as shit.  they have an attitude as if they are in charge,  and pounce forwards in an effort to intimidate you. Its all playing and having fun with them, and they have it exactly right, If there is anything a pit bull knows how to do other than make headlines for being savage animals, its having fun, as any pit bull owner can tell you.

The puppies can be quite the task to keep happy, even though they only want 1 of 3 things. all they want is food, clean papers, or to play, that is all they ever want, and they are happy. The only one of those that really takes anytime is the playing, as they need to run around to exert all that pit bull energy, and you don’t even have to play with them, just give them a big open space with some clean rags or something  chew and pull on, and they will hop around crazily all by themselves. It is at that time that i recommend recording it,  because it really is humorous to watch them play with one another.  Also,  if they have clean papers, food, and have played, they may want to go out to go to the bathroom. My last litter i had crying to go out to pee at like 3 weeks old,  it was actually fantastic and helped keep their pen a lot cleaner. They are smart dogs young, and they do not like to roll around in their own shit.

They escaped a few nights ago while we were sleeping, and i do not know how long they were out for, but judging by the amount of fecal matter throughout the house, i estimate it was about 4 days. They knocked the phone off the hook, which led to my boss not being able to reach me, so i woke up to my girlfriend snatching up puppies, and telling me my boss was waiting in the driveway. It was a huge blur, but as i hurried through the house i got quick glimpses of the madness that took place. I put up a video of them crying to reek havoc throughout the house here  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CYxiRkfVhw. I know they seem innocent, but they are really little monsters, not by any harmful means, if you watch them, you will see that when they destroy things, they are having the most fun ever.  If your pit bull does not have enough oppurtunities to release its energy, they will chew up the things in your house. If you properly exercise your dog, it will have no reason to chew up your shoe, or pillows. I have a dog that used to go after the things i used all the time, including a down comforter, in which i came home to the rotating fan blowing feathers everywhere, and feathers stuck all over the dogs lips, and she did that while she was in a kennel,  which was apparently too close to my bed to keep everything safe.

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How do you forget that you drove, when it’s winter??

Here’s an interesting situation, that happened on a seemingly normal Thursday night. My friend, we’ll call him “Jake”, has been working a lot lately and i have not seen him in about a week.  So he had off and wanted to drink some beers, I said “OK lets do it” , and so we did just that with a few other friends of ours.  Things were going just swell, and it got to be about 30 minutes before the store closed, and we realized that more beer was in order. Jake decided he would go get more beer, the store is about a 10 minute walk away from my house, but its January in western new york, and is what i consider depressingly cold outside.  So naturally he drove down there, he went in, purchased an 18 pack of bottles, walked out of the store, walked right by his car, and carried the fairly large case of beer all the way to my house through a foot and a half of snow, and 20 degree weather.  At no time realizing that he didn’t have to carry it to my house because he drove down there.  Well we did not know for about 45 minutes, until someone went out into the driveway to meet someone, and noticed that the car wasn’t there. My girlfriends brother asked Jake if he left the car at the store, and he responded “no!”,  but said it as if there was no way he could of done something like that. So when they asked him where it was, he said “fuck, i must of left it at the store.”  This i found to be beyond funny, i just couldnt figure out how it had happened with the level of shitty it was outside,  this was no warm summer night, and he carried a case of beer up a huge hill that my house sits atop.  How do you walk right by your car, and carry on as if all is fine??  The situation alone is enough to seriously question my friends state of well being, but  in a tale of amazing occurrences, the guy fucking did it again an hour later.  He decided to go to the pizzeria for some food, drove down there, parked directly in front of the door, bought his food, walked out the door, passed his car, and then carried his food all the way to my house. The first thing they asked him when he came in was if he forgot the car again, i walked by them, and laughed thinking there was no way it happened again, until someone rushed over to me to tell me that he did in fact do it again. They decided to go get the car this time, while i giggled and tried to pry Jake’s mind a little bit to find out what the hell was going on here, but he said very little, as he shoved food into his mouth. When they got back with the car they informed me that he had parked directly in front of the door to the place,  and he had to see it as he walked right by it. At that point I scanned the place quickly, but found Jake nowhere to be found. I talked to him last night when he was here and apparently he decided to eat some pills that i like to call “mind erasers”, which more than explains his actions, I’ve seen it before, when you mix those things with alcohol, you can drink like a fish on them, and not realize how fucked up you actually are. Of course you’ll never really know either, because unless someone tells you about your behavior, it is forever lost.  So in closing,  thank you Jake for an unbelievable laugh, i really needed that one.


Christmas Ballz.

Well, it is Christmas, i had consumed a large amount of beer and aftershock last night, went to bed at around 4 or 5 i suppose, and was awoken by shrieking madness. some sort of misunderstanding as to whether or not i should be so comfortably sleeping at 9 fucking 30 in the morning.  So hear i sit, stoned, drunk,  extremely tired, sore from work, and a beer pong tournament i am hosting in a few short hours.  i had received perhaps my favorite gift in quite some time today, which Jim Norton’s book  “I Hate Your Guts”. I bought his first book “Happy Ending’s”, and had enjoyed it a lot, although I expected something a little more raw, being familiar with his material, i sort of expect it, but this book seems to be a little bit more of what i was looking for in the first one. regardless it should be an enjoyable read, much like “Too Fat to Fish” by Artie Lang.  you very rarely go wrong reading a comedians publishing’s,  or anything by the good doctor Hunter S. Thompson. i need to get better prepared for beer pong, which means i need to get more drunk. if i play sober, its over, for whatever reason, i throw my best balls when i am drunk, and not buzzed had 6 beers drunk, i mean fucked up no longer makes reasonable sense drunk. usually losing a game is just the thing to get me going, having to drink beers at a rate of 7 per hour gives me that little extra boost, and although i see the cups with very limited visibility, that is the condition in which i will nail cup after cup. when i first found out about beer pong, i absolutely loved it, thought it was the greatest game, i would play by myself when i got home from my second shift suck job. i would fill up all six cups with 2 beers, throw the ball into the cups and drink them as i made my shots. i would drink all of my cup before i shot, and would use little slashes on some paper to record shots taken and balls made. mainly because i would get so shit faced i couldn’t remember if i was actually playing good or not. every once in a while i would only use 1 beer because of the rate i was consuming it, and drinking at a high pace when there is nobody around, and absolutely no cause for celebration, is really something else, and strange, but every time i did it, i kind of felt as if i was cheating, so whether i was done playing or not, i would play another game using two beers. And the philosophy behind this was that you have to play the game while quickly consuming beer, so staying sober is nowhere and option here.  so if you are going to practice, you very well can not do that by filling the cups full of water, it is a completely different game sober, so if i drank twice as much beer as when you actually play, then i would be much better when game times comes, because i would be use to throwing under the condition of completely inebriated. well it turns out, i got good at playing thrashed, and i still suck when im not that drunk.  People hear about beer pong on Christmas, and they get excited. everyone does the whole family thing from morning until dinner, and by the time dinner is over, your ready to go get fucked up, and no exceptions here.  There was a very good turn out for the  Christmas beer pong tourney, and I was amazed to wake up with a clean house, and nothing destroyed, although i have not yet been out to the shed, where the beer pong table is. I would say the night went as planned, not one Christmas fight, although somebody did spill beer into my pipe.  I never got a straight answer out of those fuckers either. After stumbling into the living room to retrieve it, i plugged the carb and blew through the mouth piece, only to have liquid spray all over me. I gave them the business, and they blamed it on freddy, instead of just telling me the dog did it.  In any event, all is well, so seasons greetings, next up New Years.